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Tears from Heaven
Related to country: Somalia

Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic



My mum always worried about me losing my life. It was her dream to see me in school and become a doctor. She said that the greatest thing in life was to be a servant to others so that Allah can bless you and that you have to have a big heart to contain life miseries.

My mum was inside cooking one day whiles I was outside playing with my friends; all of a sudden a group of armed men in a jeep got out and started firing in all direction. Some of my friends were shot, I ran as far as I could on my tinny feet. My mother was shouting and screaming at me. She was crying and cursing me for nearly losing my life as she held me tight to her chest. Tears of seeing me alive fell from her cheeks. I was sorry for my friends as they could not make it. The agony of losing my friends will linger on for ever. The scares of an unwanted civil war.

The lives of many innocent children, the tattered clothes of many widows and the bony cheeks of widowers. It’s the true story of a never ending war. Our people have been reduced to beggars. We have no resources so our plight is not reported, the lives of mutilated children do not make news. Its does not make news when our mothers are killed, our fathers are killed. Its not as if we are barbaric, it’s not as if the world has never seen such acts of brutalities before. We are different because we are Somalis and Africans. It’s the most dangerous place on earth to be, yet it only makes the news when weapons are stolen, when ships are high jacked. We will not give up the fight for peace just because the world has forgotten us. We will care for our children no matter the odds; we will care for our land. They say we are a failed State; there is no remedy for our situation so we are left to perish. I realize that when one travels the road of life weathering storms and standing in the eye of many hurricanes, survival is determine by the strength of ones will. Our sacrifices have been many, our complaints few. And all along we the people of Somalia knew what the land holds, no matter our plight without reservations.

We had to move to the border of Ethiopia where we lived in tents and open spaces. It was hot but you had no choice. A life of a refugee, living in a different country, speaking different dialect. Where you are viewed with suspicion. You have to prove yourself. If you are an African, its double tragedy as your identity can be contentious as many rural Africans are not registered at birth. You will be locked up for an indefinite period till your identity is proven.

The life of a refugee is a forgotten one. The open mass media use you for publicity; the NGOs and inter-governmental agency use you as a tool for their work and as a means of livelihood. You cannot comprehend the daily struggles that refugees go through, the psychological trauma of losing your identity, your love ones, your family, the open racism and hypocrisy. You are only a tool for more misery and fear. Nothing can atone for the life that you have lost. The people you left behind, the opportunities of your homeland.

On the road to Ethiopia, there was a man and his family who had all their possession on their head, trekking the long journey along with the thousands of us fleeing the fighting. There was this boy who had AK 47 in his hand, I can never forget this as it was the most traumatizing experience I had ever had to witness; not even nearly losing my life was as traumatic as this. The boy wielding the gun came behind us, called on the man and shot him. The woman with tears dripping down her eyes held on tight to their little boy and asked him not to look as they trek along the journey. She couldn’t hold her tears neither could she look at her dead husband. Many lost their lives on the journey either through hunger and thirst or through the barrel of a gun.

Back in Ethiopia we struggled to cope with life as a refugee, my mum will go around to look for food in the camps so I could get something to eat. We had no money and had to do with food rationing.

My mother found work in the camp as we had no money on us and it was crucial if we are to survive. The money she got proved crucial as we had to pay our way through a journey on the desert to Spain. Our boat capsized but mum wouldn’t let go of me, she held me like an egg. It was so cold, I looked deep in my mum eyes and for the first time on our journey I saw fear. A fear a 10 year old kid could not understand. Its was a miracle but we were saved by the Spanish coast guards. My mum was rushed to the hospital for treatment. She had bruises all over and was very cold.

At the camp on the Spanish island. It was like a prison, the trauma was nothing compared to our years of toil on the streets of Somalia. You are more like a criminal than human seeking a better and safer place to live. My mum will cry everyday; she couldn’t believe her eyes at the sight of so many miserable Africans. She would have preferred to die in Somalia than come die on an Island in a miserable situation with no end in sight. We were birds in a cage – a cage bird was more appropriate.

Uncle Khalid a fellow Somali hanged himself. He couldn’t bear the shame and misery any more. The world has no place for us. May be we are not humans enough, I was very sad to hear the news of Uncle Khalid death. The pain of seeing a fellow country man death was too much for mama. She never recovered since that tragic episode, couple with the experience at sea, she died a few weeks later. Mama could not fly away high although she reached the other side. I was moved to a foster home after mama’s death. I lost a mother I could never replace. I cherished mama. I couldn’t stay in Spain because of the pain of losing mama, so I went to Canada.

Why the world so cruel, mama was only trying to find a safe place for her child, Uncle Khalid lost his life for wanting to escape death and seeking a sanctuary.
I don’t know why it’s so difficult for people to understand, my experiences are a scar in my mind and heart.


This article was inspired by Lady Aisha…a friend I am still discovering.

By Rashid Zuberu

October 10, 2008 | 5:06 PM Comments  0 comments

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Tears from Heaven
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

My mum always worried about me losing my life. It was her dream to see me in school and become a doctor. She said that the greatest thing in life was to be a servant to others so that Allah can bless you and that you have to have a big heart to contain life miseries.

My mum was inside cooking one day whiles I was outside playing with my friends; all of a sudden a group of armed men in a jeep got out and started firing in all direction. Some of my friends were shot, I ran as far as I could on my tinny feet. My mother was shouting and screaming at me. She was crying and cursing me for nearly losing my life as she held me tight to her chest. Tears of seeing me alive fell from her cheeks. I was sorry for my friends as they could not make it. The agony of losing my friends will linger on for ever. The scares of an unwanted civil war.

The lives of many innocent children, the tattered clothes of many widows and the bony cheeks of widowers. It’s the true story of a never ending war. Our people have been reduced to beggars. We have no resources so our plight is not reported, the lives of mutilated children do not make news. Its does not make news when our mothers are killed, our fathers are killed. Its not as if we are barbaric, it’s not as if the world has never seen such acts of brutalities before. We are different because we are Somalis and Africans. It’s the most dangerous place on earth to be, yet it only makes the news when weapons are stolen, when ships are high jacked. We will not give up the fight for peace just because the world has forgotten us. We will care for our children no matter the odds; we will care for our land. They say we are a failed State; there is no remedy for our situation so we are left to perish. I realize that when one travels the road of life weathering storms and standing in the eye of many hurricanes, survival is determine by the strength of ones will. Our sacrifices have been many, our complaints few. And all along we the people of Somalia knew what the land holds, no matter our plight without reservations.

We had to move to the border of Ethiopia where we lived in tents and open spaces. It was hot but you had no choice. A life of a refugee, living in a different country, speaking different dialect. Where you are viewed with suspicion. You have to prove yourself. If you are an African, its double tragedy as your identity can be contentious as many rural Africans are not registered at birth. You will be locked up for an indefinite period till your identity is proven.

The life of a refugee is a forgotten one. The open mass media use you for publicity; the NGOs and inter-governmental agency use you as a tool for their work and as a means of livelihood. You cannot comprehend the daily struggles that refugees go through, the psychological trauma of losing your identity, your love ones, your family, the open racism and hypocrisy. You are only a tool for more misery and fear. Nothing can atone for the life that you have lost. The people you left behind, the opportunities of your homeland.

On the road to Ethiopia, there was a man and his family who had all their possession on their head, trekking the long journey along with the thousands of us fleeing the fighting. There was this boy who had AK 47 in his hand, I can never forget this as it was the most traumatizing experience I had ever had to witness; not even nearly losing my life was as traumatic as this. The boy wielding the gun came behind us, called on the man and shot him. The woman with tears dripping down her eyes held on tight to their little boy and asked him not to look as they trek along the journey. She couldn’t hold her tears neither could she look at her dead husband. Many lost their lives on the journey either through hunger and thirst or through the barrel of a gun.

Back in Ethiopia we struggled to cope with life as a refugee, my mum will go around to look for food in the camps so I could get something to eat. We had no money and had to do with food rationing.

My mother found work in the camp as we had no money on us and it was crucial if we are to survive. The money she got proved crucial as we had to pay our way through a journey on the desert to Spain. Our boat capsized but mum wouldn’t let go of me, she held me like an egg. It was so cold, I looked deep in my mum eyes and for the first time on our journey I saw fear. A fear a 10 year old kid could not understand. Its was a miracle but we were saved by the Spanish coast guards. My mum was rushed to the hospital for treatment. She had bruises all over and was very cold.

At the camp on the Spanish island. It was like a prison, the trauma was nothing compared to our years of toil on the streets of Somalia. You are more like a criminal than human seeking a better and safer place to live. My mum will cry everyday; she couldn’t believe her eyes at the sight of so many miserable Africans. She would have preferred to die in Somalia than come die on an Island in a miserable situation with no end in sight. We were birds in a cage – a cage bird was more appropriate.

Uncle Khalid a fellow Somali hanged himself. He couldn’t bear the shame and misery any more. The world has no place for us. May be we are not humans enough, I was very sad to hear the news of Uncle Khalid death. The pain of seeing a fellow country man death was too much for mama. She never recovered since that tragic episode, couple with the experience at sea, she died a few weeks later. Mama could not fly away high although she reached the other side. I was moved to a foster home after mama’s death. I lost a mother I could never replace. I cherished mama. I couldn’t stay in Spain because of the pain of losing mama, so I went to Canada.

Why the world so cruel, mama was only trying to find a safe place for her child, Uncle Khalid lost his life for wanting to escape death and seeking a sanctuary.
I don’t know why it’s so difficult for people to understand, my experiences are a scar in my mind and heart.


This article was inspired by Lady Aisha…a friend I am still discovering.

By Rashid Zuberu